Killer Reworked

Exposition- Dusty asking if deodorant makes you grow body hair

Rising Action- Masturbating in front of everyone

In bathroom and Joe tells him his mom says everyone has a super power

Climax- goes home and mom is dead

Falling action- masturbates again and bird dies

Conclusion- thinks he can kill people by masturbating

The Tell-Tale Heart

The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe

Exposition- Talking about his madness and saying he is calm now

Rising Action-

  • Talking about the gold eye that resembled a vulture
  • Idea to kill the man to rid of the eye
  • Putting head in door
  • Old man awakens
  • Opening the lantern
  • Hearing the heart
  • Killing the old man
  • Putting body in floorboards
  • Police arriving
  • Beating sound getting louder

Climax- Yelling to tear open the floor

Protagonist- Narrator

Antagonist- Old man

Conflict- the golden eye

 

Killer

Killer by Matt Kazman

Short films have:

  • A cinematic character- Dusty
  • A cinematic environment- the house and school
  • Emotional setup- the mom dies
  • Action based payoff- Dusty masturbating in front of everyone in hallway

Codes used:

  • En (Entertain)- trying to kill bully by jacking off
  • Protagonist- Dusty
  • Ii (Inciting Incident)- Watching the wall shake while people have sex on other side
  • Ca! (Call to Action)- Joe saying his mom told him everyone has a superpower
  • A (Antagonist)- the bully
  • Cn (Conflict)- the bully
  • Cn+ (Increased Conflict)- the bully saying “I’m going to fucking kill you after school.”
  • Su (Set up)- friend saying someone dies whenever someone else masturbates
  • Po (Pay off)- trying to kill bully
  • Rv (Reversal)- thinking deodorant makes you grow body hair
  • Rs (Resolution)- the deodorant

The Plot Diagram

Exposition- getting punched in the face

Rising Action-

  • Dusty and friends watching the wall shake as couple has sex on other side
  • They all talk about touching themselves
  • One kids mom says if you touch yourself someone dies
  • puts women’s deodorant all over body
  • mom walks in with his hand in his pants
  • Finally masturbates and mom dies while he does
  • Masturbates again and a bird flies into window and dies while he does
  • Bully saying “I’m going to fucking kill you after school.”
  • Joe telling him that his mom says everyone has a super power

Climax- Masturbating in front of everyone in hallway including bully to try to make him die

Falling Action- Dad picks him up in car

Resolution- Getting deodorant and saying he thought deodorant made people grow body hair

Madness on the Bear Mountain

They were driving down the windy Bear Mountain in her beaten up Camry.  The rain poured down on their windshield as the thunder crackled above them.

Clara violently pressed her foot on the gas; there was no time to waste.  The baby lay sleeping in the passengers seat unaware of the custody mess she was caught in the middle of.  Clara remembered her promise, she must get the child to safety.  The mountain marked the final obstacle to that safety, but she could feel herself being followed.  She looked over the mountains edge to the gloomy Hudson below.  Reluctantly she lifted her foot from the pedal, slowing a bit in fear she may inadvertently drive them off the edge to the pine trees and polluted waters below.

The steering wheel shook with the rocky mountain terrain.  Clara gripped harder, eyeing the sleeping infant.  In that instant her wheel wobbled and the car began to spin – it all happened so fast.  Her mind went blank as the car flipped over the broken rock barrier.  The car tumbled down the mountainside with Clara and the baby in tow.  Barely breathing and in shock, Clara looked up at the cliff above her once the car came to a stop at the base of the mountain, and there he was, looking down at her.

The man grabbed Clara’s throat and screamed “this is OUR child, you may not take OUR child away from me!”  He then threatened to take her life if she did not allow him to see the child.  With all of her strength, Clara slammed her fingers into the man’s face and gouged his eyes.  As the man lay there screaming, Clara escaped with the child as fast as she could.

She ran a hundred feet and saw an old row boat lying on the edge of the Hudson.  She flipped the boat and pushed it out onto the rough, stormy waters.  She placed the child under the bench and grabbed an our and hopped in.  She rowed down the river half a mile until she got to Camp Smith.  She knew there, they would protect her and her child.

On The Bear Mountain

They were driving down the windy Bear Mountain as rain poured down on their windshield and the thunder crackled above them.

Clara pressed her foot violently against the acceleration; she had no time to waste.  The baby lay sleeping in the passengers seat.  She remembered her promise.  She must get the child to safety.  The mountain marked the final obstacle between them and freedom, but she could feel herself being followed.  She looked over the mountains edge and reluctantly lifted her foot from the pedal, slowing a bit in fear she may inadvertently drive them off the edge.

The steering wheel shook with the rocky mountain road, and Clara gripped harder, eyeing the sleeping infant.  In the instant she took her eyes off the road, her wheels wobbled and the car began to spin – it all happened so fast.  Her mind went blank as she felt herself and the car, with the baby in tow, tumble down the mountainside.  Barely breathing and in shock, Clara looked up at the cliff above her once the car came to a stop at the base of the mountain, and there he was, looking down at her.

The man grabbed Clara and screamed at her “this is OUR child, you may not take our child away from me.” The man then grabbed Clara by the throat and threatened to take her life if he did not allow her to see the child.  It took all of Clara’s strength, but she slammed her fingers in the man’s face, and gouged his eyes with her fingers.  As the man lay there screaming Clara escaped with the child as fast as humanly possible.

She found a rowboat lying on the edge of the Hudson, just waiting to be taken.  She placed the baby under the bench.  She pushed the boat into the polluted waters and hopped in and started rowing.  She made her way the half mile north the where Camp Smith begins and ran to the standing officer.  She told him she was in trouble and he took her in to protect her and the baby until police arrived.

The Worst Lie Can Be The Best Story

Every writer has strengths and weaknesses.  That’s just a part of life, even Michael Phelps has weaknesses in certain races.  No one can be perfect at everything but if you can perfect one part of your writing and build upon the rest of it to create your own unique style you can still be a great writer.  I’m no different, I have a mind full of creative stories waiting to break free but where do I put that comma?

I can think of the story but I have trouble building the story.Grammar has been and always will be a great struggle for me and my writing. Not only grammar but transitions, I never know when to stop the sentence and how to transition into the next paragraph.  All of these been qualities of a great storyteller, all my struggles.

I’m a great liar.  I have since the day I was born, my mother always says I was the only one of us four kids that never had a tell, there was no way of knowing if I was lying or not.  Still true to this day, with the amount of lies hidden behind my pretty smile she’ll never really know what her daughter has done.  But I can use this to my storytelling advantage.  Not only can I come up with these incredible lies to write stories about (all my little lacrosse girls think I broke my elbow fighting a shark while surfing in the Long Island Sound) but I can also write stories about what I’ve done but because I could potentially get in trouble for some of these things I’ll just write about them in my stories.

Not only am I creative but I like to base lots of my stories off of emotion.  My emotions are so strong that it comes naturally to me to write about it.  I change the story, keep the emotions.  If someone has had the same emotions as me and felt the same way then they can relate to the story better and it will resonate with them.  All of my favorite stories have somehow hit me emotionally because it’s nice to know someone’s there for you and knows how you feel.  If I ever actually let people read my stories, I would want them to know that there’s someone that feels the same and they have something to relate to.  My way of interesting my reader is through emotions, every story teller needs something to keep their reader reading and that’s mine.

All of my weaknesses of storytelling are the basics that I can improve upon.  When I think of all the aspects that I struggle in that seem to outnumber my strengths I need to look back on myself and realize I can easily work on all of these.  I can’t just create creativity and voice, the aspects that I thrive in.  Creativity is born within me, no one taught me how to be creative.  No one told me as a kid I should lie, they actually told me the exact opposite, but lying was too fun.  Why not create a new life and adventure for everyone you meet?  There’s seven billion people in this world and I plan on having each of them know a different Rachie.  Why?  Because I can.